Monday, January 7, 2013


Who are the people we choose to make into heroes, those we idolize within our lifestyle at large and within our local communities?

Where do we find them?  Visit your local kinky society to find numerous kinksters joining together for fun and educational purposes.  Join a social networking lifestyle site and you'll find more kinky superstars than you can shake a tit at.  How hard it can be to sort through the masses to find those who truly feel compelled to be tenders of the flame?

I think we are drawn to those we see leading the masses because they provide some sense of safe haven and structure and sanity to the unknown.  If they are recognized leaders in their community or in their area of expertise, people tend to automatically feel these are the people in whose hands they may place their fledgling selves and be safe as they explore and learn.

There is no doubt that most people who are viewed as the elite and most knowledgeable in our lifestyle are outstanding people in their private lives and in the roles within which they serve in their public lives.  You may hear many stories about them, see pictures and videos documenting their scenes, see in person their involvement in various scenes, and hear testimony of others regaling tales of intense intricate play along with details of their service to their community.

All this is certainly worthy of admiration and may even spark interest where you knew none existed.  Those leaders may provide good examples to follow for those entering this world and those already long in it.  But does all that make them infallible?  Do all the good feats and vast experience necessarily make them hero material?

Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy watching the "pros" play.  I learn from watching and hearing their adventures and ideas and theologies.  I can be moved by the intensity of their scenes, their words, and their actions.  And quite frankly, it is so easy to fall into acceptance of the idea that these are the icons of our lifestyle and that, for all intents and purposes, they are worthy of emulation.  Without doubt, such heroes as these do exist; however, there are others who although they fit the profile have another side of which many may never see, but nonetheless it exists.

When I think of heroes and idols, I think about childhood heroes from Superman to Roy Rogers or the Lone Ranger.  Back in the day, it was so easy to distinguish right from wrong, and the heroes always stood for the right. The principles these characters espoused were admirable, and they deserved to be our heroes.

I get perturbed when I see people using our desire for heores and idols to hijack it for their own personal gain by portraying themselves as the good guys, the cool kids, the ones offering the proverbial carrot on a stick before a starving audience. People of such ilk take one's naivety and trust and trample it underfoot like dust.

They ignore the boundaries and limits of others by hiding behind words if it fits in with their objectives.  The very ideals which they are supposed to represent (honesty, loyalty, RESPECT), they toss aside like these are expendable because it is a game and one that is played well.

I guess what I'm saying is:  People, take off the rose colored glasses and pay attention.  Not all cowboys are good guys.  Even a villian can wear a hero's mask.  See through the facade and realize that some people will use your enthusiasm and naivety to play with your mind and push toward things you believe you want but in reality it has more to do with what they want.  Peel the mask away and see the true intent behind the words and actions.  Look far beneath the surface and question the motives.  There may be much good done in the name of community but is there an underlying game plan of which you are unaware?  Be aware of the head games and the mind fuck.  If you are new to this world, you may not even be aware of the games being played underneath the surface.  But these are tools being used, always.  You are not matter how nice you are or how nice others are to you.  Look for the truth and the honor which should be present in every action and every communication.  And when you find it, there you will find your heroes and idols.

The people who you choose as heroes are actually a reflection of you! Pick people who add true value to your life and empower you rather than offer a false sense of personal heroics and accomplishment.