Monday, May 6, 2013


Looking back over the life of this blog, it's easy to see that I haven't maintained my presence here nearly as often as I'd like. Our lives are hectic and time is a precious commodity for us. Work, kids, gym, and circumstances seem to conspire to prohibit my writing on a daily basis.
Perhaps now is a good time to start fresh. It seems we are experiencing new beginnings in other areas of our lives. So I think now would be a good time to re-commit to documenting my thoughts, feelings, and activities. I've decided I will start as though I am just beginning this blog and take time to introduce myself and give a glimpse into how i arrived at this point and then go from there.
I have considered myself a submissive for a good 20 years at least. During that time, I have not always actively participated in the lifestyle but certainly, even in times of inactivity, submissiveness was and still is my prevailing nature. The desire to serve is as natural to me as breathing. Over the years, my interests have grown from a simple desire to serve a man both domestically and sexually to include many more deviant desires. I learned I enjoyed pain and discipline. It is cathartic. It is balancing. And for me, balance is the element I most seek for personal fulfillment. I have found that I have a sadistic streak as well as a touch of a masochistic side. My fetish interests have expanded so far beyond what I first imagined when I first began to dabble in the lifestyle arena. What's truly awesome to me is that this is a never-ending journey. I continue to learn new things that I like, that I want to try, that I want to explore. At almost 43, I am still growing, still learning, still seeking knowledge, always wanting to improve and better myself, still evolving.
How I identify myself has evolved in a way I never anticipated. All these years, I have identified myself as submissive and staunchly denied any desire to be slave. And that has been the truth. I have never wanted to be a slave. Now my self-identity has changed so much that I have even changed my lifestyle moniker to include the word slave. Being submissive to Master evokes such a depth and intensity of feeling that I slowly have come to realize and accept my willingness and desire to be slave to Him. Not only that but I revel in the idea of of it. So now that my mindset has turned to slavery rather than mere submission, I am intent on being my best for Him in that capacity. The terms slave or submissive are merely labels that help others identify where we each are on our journeys. So many resist being labeled and I understand why. But for now, just as I was with the label of submissive, I am proud to be labeled as such, proud to be called His slave. The first time Master referred to me as His slave, my heart was full of happiness.
Who am i? i am me. i am slave. i am His slave only. i am slave-2-one.

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