Dictionary.com defines the act of deceiving as:
1. to mislead by a false appearance or statement; delude
Put so simply as one is "misleading" another softens the issue somewhat, doesn't it? Surely there should be some stronger way of representing what deception/lies do to individuals and couples.
That simple misleading by a false appearance or statement may be the cause of an ache in one's heart or soul so deep and intense that that person may find it difficult to breathe. It can hurt just as much as any physical pain. From a personal standpoint, I'd rather suffer physical pain any day. I think many of us would rather feel a physical ache than the ache of betrayal.
Do people not realize the damage they do to one another or do they simply not care? Where is the integrity and honor in such actions? And I submit that even more so in this lifestyle than a vanilla one, integrity, honor, trust and respect are keystones. They're the attributes for which to strive to exhibit and the benchmark for which to judge yourself and your peers.
"If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don't have integrity, nothing else matters."